I feel completely suffocated with the feeling of not being good enough.

You can hear the way people speak when they’re excited about something, or someone. The light in their eyes, the way they always bring it up. They use social media to talk about it, brag about it, show it off. They understand it’s importance, the need to take advantage of an opportunity, the need to take care of it, or them. You can tell their heart is full. I know it, because I feel that way about something too, or someone. But what if I won’t ever be good enough to fully love, not good enough to be a priority in any aspect? That the thought of me won’t ever light up someone eyes, and they won’t want to brag about me, show me off? What if no one sees my importance or the need to put care and effort in? What if I’m never a top employee or the best mom ever or the love of anyone’s life?

Our importance feels so measured by the value we have in other peoples lives. If I am never that important to something or someone then do I have any value at all? One could argue that you have to work for those things, towards those things, but what if that work never pays off?

Security is being able to feel good enough on your own. We should be able to feel worthy without something or someone telling us we are. We deserve to feel worthy without it needing to be consistently validated.

I am desperately trying to find my value within, while I am completely suffocated with the feeling of never being good enough.